Some time ago (about a year or two) I had these amazing dreams where everything seemed so real that when I woke up I could not stop thinking about them. Yesterday I had one of these dreams again. The next thing I do when I wake up is: write down the dream so that maybe some day I could make it into a book. Nothing extraordinary has happened to me in my dreams and it is always too difficult to put down on a paper what you have felt and experienced during a dream, at least for me.
The dream was somewhat mixed within the emotions and experiences of my childhood and present thoughts and ideas. It all started in the town I lived in when I was a child; a nice and sunny summer day with the odour of the trees that calms you down and the exceptional feeling of being a child in the 90s, but today there was something different. A large group of people with a lot of cars and staff where entering the town. They were models who had to make a show there. My heart melted. The next moment I am me at present and this is my teenage dream coming true. Then I stand in the line where all girls from the town are casting to participate in the show and at that time I remind myself of my imperfections. Nevertheless, I tell myself I can do this and even though I have my shortcomings, I could still win the competition. When it is my turn to present myself, I am harshly reminded of my faults. I am devastated but I am not letting them to see that. I promise to work hard on my body and to be in shape in no time and to deal with the other imperfections as well. I smile and pose. Everyone looks at me and judges me out loud. Finally, they say no. I feel sick, but I stay calm and let them speak. I listen. Then I run till the river. I cry my soul out; I am wretched. I wake up.
You know the feeling when you desire something so badly that it hurts and when there is a chance you could get it, but you struggle
and still do not get it… Well, this was that kind of dream.
I hope that one day I will be able to put in to words the feelings I experience in my head during the night.
P.S. Dream on!